There’s been a lot going on in the world lately that’s very, very wrong, M.P.’s exposed as being on the take to fund private moats and credit accounts at Ann Summers, Terrorist murderers being expatriated cos they feel a bit poorly and definitely NOT to grease the wheels of international trade, Katy Price and Peter Andre splitting up and now heavy metal icon Stephen Gately dying!…but as all this earth shaking news is going on outside my super top secret revolutionary HQ there’s a foul serpent slipping past you, the masses, the people, day by day, hour by hour, soul by soul. It falls to me, your dissident voice of truth to point out the facts…what is happening to the world of music? Shall I tell you?…IT’S FUCKING DYING!!!

The most popular and free form of expression, of shared experience and story telling is being eroded, dashed onto the rocks of the “free market” by people who have no idea what music actually is and instead favour a banal multicoloured soundtrack in the background so as not to cause too much thought in their banal everyday grind to interrupt your ITunes shopping binges. How much more cultural value does another Sugababes single have than an Otters fart?

I ask you what does a marketing executive know about expression. About feeling alienated by society? About needing to tell the world what’s wrong or right?
Indeed what does a marketing executive know about being a human? I’ll tell you…FUCK ALL, they are not built for such emotion. If you know someone who works in music industry marketing give them fair chance to quit their job amicably, sell all their worldly goods and go to Colombia to help orphans as amends for their crimes. Or just simply batter them square in the face with a broken chair leg.

What a marketing executive does know about is “demographics, consumer sales behaviour, product personality and target audiences” just a few things off the top of my revolutionary head. They also happen to be a few things that are directly opposed to say, creativity, expression and inspiration. They’ll finish a days hard “possible consumer data analysis” saunter down to their brand new B.M.W. fuckspike and sit in traffic for 3 hours twittering with 50,000 other pointless cunts. All on their own inside their cars listening to X.F.M. or some other monopolised broadcaster, pumping out Nickleback or Lady Gaga or The Killers at you 24 hours a day. An endlessly rotating paid for playlist of “popular hits” – popular if you are in marketing that is.

Just take a moment to consider what’s wrong with the world when Simon Cow(b)ell gets paid vast fortunes to look disdainfully on and huff and puff in disbelief as talentless morons make arses of themselves. What if that money was paid to teachers and artists to develop talent into creative and forward thinking musicians and performers? What if?

When the revolution finally comes he will be the first against the wall!

But it’s more than just “oh I hate that modern pop music” or “Miley Cyrus is nowhere near as cool as Rick Astley was” it’s far more fucking serious than that. Airtime, screen time, and YOUR time is given over to disgrace and disgust instead of enthusiasm and genuine excitement. Even “Alternative” music and events are being taken over by sponsors and business…your minority group is now a targeted market.
Cynical and rather sinister….

It’s about your free time, your innermost sanctum, your soul, your chamber of creative inspiration being sedated, spoon-fed opiates to minimise your chain of thought, thus avoiding revolution, or innovation. Heed my warning well brothers and sisters of the peoples revolutionary army, for as the marketing executives, the generals of the dark armies commanded by the betrayers of free will themselves, slyly spoon-feed you another corporate sponsored music venture, your freedom and your children’s freedoms are being stolen away from you like a twisted corporate Fagin with his manicured fingers in your pants.

They say music journalists are all failed or frustrated musicians. This is, for the most part, true. However AT LEAST THE CUNTS HAVE TRIED! At least they have experienced what it is to be a musician even if it was playing to 4 people at the bull and gate before the bassist left to go to uni and the singer died in a tragic ketamin accident.

Time to listen to the new classic “Fuck The Chip” by the Engines Of Armageddon and get off your arse and support your local scene before there is no local scene.

VIVA LA EVOLUTION!